Get Better

To those who started a new year on a good note. I am very happy for you. I am glad you feel and doing good. For some reason, some of us had to get sick in order to detoxify from last year. I put it that way so I can have a better look for the remaining days. Otherwise, it’d think that nothing good is waiting for me. Which is true so far. Haa jokes on me. 

Well, it really is a misery to get sick. I tell you that much. To not be able to do anything yourself. That’s when you see that it is a luxury to feel your best and be able to accomplish everything you can physically. 

For those who are sick mentally, psychologically, or physically. I am sending my empathy to you. I know it’s not easy to always ask someone else to do the least possible thing for you. Some things we don’t even consider as a gift. I am talking about blinking your eyes. That can be a hard thing to do for someone who is ill. You think when you see them laying down halfway blinking. It’s because they are trying to wink or something. Hell no. It’s because they feel weak. Hence the reason speaking, blinking, stretching your lips to smile takes effort. 

I was sick. I had a disease that made me vomit and diarrhea every 15mins. Oh it was awful. Every 15mins, I would get up and go to the bathroom to throw up. Twice I threw up and diarrhea at the same time. That night, I didn’t even have the courage to do a full prayer. All I said was ‘Jesus heal me’. Couldn’t form a full sentence. I was sweating and shivering. Sour in my mouth as if I’ve been chewing lemons all day. It’s not fun at all. And the next day, I despised the only thing I loved the most. Water. In the morning, anything my tongue touched felt salty, and at night, it felt sweet. Wow, talk about surprises. 

Also, have you seen colours before? As in many colours at once? That’s called a blurred vision or something else. Now that’s what you have. Nothing seems clear anymore. I sometimes was afraid going down the stairs. I couldn’t see if there was one after the other. That faded a day after though. I must say, if that happens to you more than once in a week, you must get checked out. Might be the beginning of something. You never know.

Back to me, my body couldn’t hold onto marching or taking another step. My arms couldn’t hang onto the railing. They were shivering unable to grab anything. I remember a baby cup slipping out of my hands. Doesn’t weight anything, but my fingers couldn’t stay stable, let alone hold anything. A doctor said that I have bacteria disruption that created infection and here I was pouring out everything I ate for the last couple of days from all places you can think of. TMI, sorry.

With that being said, I couldn’t help but imagine someone who must be going through this for a while. Either because of the disease they have or because of the medicine they are taking. Either way. It feels like hell. I empathize with you. I know every pain is different. But if you can’t hold you p**p in when you want to. If you have the luxury to fart without letting anything out, Go thank God. If you can burp without feeling like you might throw out your life, go thank God too. If you can stand still, be grateful. Because when you are sick, there are some things you can’t control anymore. Sickness makes you vulnerable to some extent you couldn’t imagine getting to. 

So:

• Don’t feel bad for yourself for the time being. 
• Allow yourself to take some time off. Your body needs it. There are some people that can’t take time off work unless they are sick. Don’t be that person. Even if everybody depends on you. Be selfish for once and take care of your health. 
• Eat something small here and there. Even if it might end up coming back. Or even if you feel nauseous. Eat something. It will help you to recover. Bit by bit, you are going to feel strong again. When I say eat something. Don’t misunderstand it by eating anything. Those greasy food are probably the ones what made you sick in the first place. So, avoid those. Try fruits and vegetables (might be the best medicine for you right now).
• Read something that revives your faith and soul. It helps. You will see why. It’s better to still have good thoughts running through your mind instead of bad ones. 
• If you can’t read, listen, or watch something good.

I am a person who enjoys reading. That felt like a chore too. What can I say? Nothing was fun anymore. Absolutely nothing. I thought about praying. Then I was like “God sees what I am going through, he can heal me. Do I have to cry for him to see the depth of my misery?” Well, I had no energy to shed tears. During those days, my faith was shaken a little bit because God couldn’t heal me right there and then when I needed it the most. But I had to read his word to believe and regain trust in him. I had to remember that everything is not a surprise to him. I had to reflect and remember his goodness in my life. 

Anyway, be well. Take care of yourselves. Remember to show mercy and kindness to yourself. Because if you don’t, do you know what’s going to happen? Hmmm considering that you are not 2 anymore. Nobody will ask you if you are hungry and try to feed you every hour. Look after yourself and take care of your body if you want it to carry you for the next 30years.