First, check your lane

It’s either:

• Looking in the mirror – trying to figure out if what you see is what’s there or
• Walking in the streets, and staring at nothing – and remembering that you are actually walking,
• Or driving – but because you are used to the road, you have zoned out and you only catch yourself that you’re actually in the car when it’s time to turn..
• Or reading a book – and realized that you have been stuck on a certain word in a page, thinking of what to make for dinner.
• Or seating in a group of people – but you can’t tell what they are currently talking about.

We have all been there. Oh, my bad! Not all, but some of us have been there!

A place where you get lost and no matter how many times you come back to your senses; you keep on disconnecting. But still, you keep going. A place where all seem to be moving, yet all is still. A place where, where you are staring at is not where you are looking at. A place where you are playing an imaginary character, you’d want to be one day, yet it’s just an imagination. Or manifestation. Not sure. A place where you want your wish to become your reality. A place of unknown.  

We have all been in a ‘bad place’. Not only once. But multiple times. For many various reasons. And can I tell you something? What; you don’t want me to say anything? Too late. I already have something to say.

• You’ll be okay. Maybe not at this instant. But soon! Depending on what you are going through. Try to take a few minutes to breathe and remember that you can get through it.
• Maybe in a week, or month or year, little pieces of your soul will start to heal slow by slow. Hang in there.

Whatever we do in life, it doesn’t matter what. We are always moving forward. I’ve watched movies where they can go back and change what happened years ago when in the present. But, you can’t take back what you say, let alone turn back time. You have to move forward. you can’t undo anything done to you, for you or at you from the past. That’s why it’s important to restore/treat the wounds from the past in the present so the future can be different than your past or current life.

I don’t want to say that there is someone going through worse than you. But that’s not fair to say since I don’t know how much pain you are in, nor can I compare nor measure it to someone’s else. But trust me: There is always someone who is going through worse than we are. And that’s the truth we don’t want to know or understand or remember when we are in tough times. 

Example 1

• As a woman, going through 2 miscarriages. It hurts so bad; you can’t understand how your uterus can’t keep it together. You cry for days and feel like trying again is a waste of time. Or if you try again and it doesn’t work out, you feel like you won’t be able to take it anymore. You hate yourself, feel sorry for yourself, lose confidence, consider yourself as worthless, etc….
• Now can I ask you to do something when you’ve calmed down. Imagine someone who has gone through 5 miscarriages and tried IVF and other treatments. Still, nothing has worked yet. Imagine the despair she must be feeling. Wanting a baby so bad, her body can’t cooperate.
• Before you give or suggest ignorant answers, think ten times before any word comes out of your mouth. Remember, not every thought is worth sharing. I am talking to those people who always have something to say. Keep quiet. Especially if you have not had the misfortune of any of those women.

Example 2

• The 1^st one is a teenager seat in her dark room at home crying at night because her parents refused to go out at night with her friends. Her parents explained multiple times that as long she still hangs out with ‘her friends’, she can never go out at night. And here, the results are her bawling, shouting how much she feels hatred or hate her parents, how much they don’t listen to her. How much she doesn’t get anything she asks for, etc… she is crying every other day because she feels hurt.
• The 2^nd one is a girl cramped in her closet, crying because she is hiding from her abusing mother or father. Deep down, she knows how much she hates her parents. And deep down, she wishes to not have been born.

Many people might see the 1^st one as spoiled and the 2^nd as the one who is suffering. Which will drive most people to sympathize more with the 2^nd one. But if you go tell the 1^st one that she must cool down because what she is going through is nothing, you might end up being like Ms Sharon from the 2^nd grade who used to bully some of her students that they won’t amount to anything, and here 15 years later, those students pull up at their elementary school just to ask Ms Sharon where her fate has taken her. In other words, you might meet the 1^st one 10 years later healed when you are the one standing on the edge of life. So, be kind.

• Even if you feel like one is hurt than the other, don’t be rude and degrade someone’s feeling because you think that your grief is sore than theirs. As much as you don’t know the damage each has gone through, treat each with empathy.

In short, each person must mind their own trouble and be aware of how they treat another person. Also, let’s not blame other people, hormones, zodiac signs or whatever else you want for our lack of change. If you see that you can cry less if you do something about it, do it. If leaving a situation or changing your routines (which means practicing new habits) or seeing a counsellor or exploring new options is what it takes. Do it. You deserve only the best.